Contact
by mindprisoner
Summary: Epsilon's final moments, his final memories.
1. Chapter 1

**_We've been here so long  
Still I remember the rainy September  
Contact_**

* * *

"Carolina, I'm serious. You have to stop," Epsilon pleaded. "Your body temperature is low, you've barely eaten in two days; you're gonna pass out."

"I can make it," Carolina insisted, almost losing her footing in the slick mud. "It's only one more day of walking."

"No! You can't walk for another day straight. I want to recover the stolen Freelancer tech just as much as you do, believe me," Epsilon said, projecting himself right in front of Carolina's visor. She walked through him with barely a second thought. "If you pass out, they could move it in the time it takes your dumb ass to wake back up." Carolina faltered; he was right.

"Fine, I'll rest," Carolina said, regaining her pace. "Just one more mile." She stepped in a particularly slippery patch of mud and, since she lacked the energy to catch herself, fell flat on her face. Carolina sat up, the steady rainfall helping to clean her armor. "Don't you _dare_ say anything." She pushed herself up and shakily walked to some wreckage half hidden in the trees, from the looks of it the bay of a Pelican. The cockpit was missing, as well as one of the wings. Carolina entered through the cockpit door, and promptly collapsed in one of the seats.

"Happy?" Carolina asked Epsilon. She would rather be in any shelter but a Pelican. Too many memories tied to these, too many friends lost. But the Pelican was dry, and significantly warmer than outside in the rain.

"I'd be happier if you didn't try to fucking kill yourself every chance you get," Epsilon answered, projecting himself just in her field of vision

"I'm just trying to get things done."

"Yeah? Well, get things done with a little less peril on your part. We don't have the healing unit yet, so maybe put off thinking you're immortal until we get it, alright?"

"I know I'm not immortal!" Carolina snapped. She could see them, in the Pelican with her, waiting for a mission drop. North, South, Maine, Wyoming, York, Wash, CT, Florida, everyone. She could hear Niner yelling at her with that signature smirk on her face, telling her to stop getting them chased by 'literally every single damn Hornet ever made.' York would be making a dumb joke, South would boo at his joke and make a dirty joke instead, and Florida would follow up with the darkest humor to make everyone shut up. "No one is."

"Carolina..." Epsilon said, his voice much softer, almost mourning. Carolina realized that she was crying. She was glad that her visor blocked Epsilon from physically seeing her tears, but he probably still knew.

She ripped her helmet off, throwing it against the far wall. "Nothing I do can ever bring them back! No matter how hard I try, I'll never see them again. I don't know if I even want to see them, because then I'll be dead and I won't be able to carry on their memory anymore."

Epsilon stared in silence, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't make her feel worse. "Well, I am the sexiest memory unit you'll ever meet," He said.

"What are you saying?"

"If you tell me everything you want to remember, I can keep those memories forever. AI don't die," Epsilon said, trying to push the stories Caboose had told him about what had happened to Alpha at the Storage Facility far from his mind.

Carolina thought about it. "We need to keep moving."

"Just until the rain stops. Or September ends. The way this rain has been, that might come first," Epsilon joked.

Carolina chuckled. "Fine, just until then. Where do you want to start?"

"Wherever you want to, sis."


	2. Chapter 2

**_Two, four, one, ten  
Two, four, one, ten  
Am I transmitting?  
Is anyone listening?  
Contact_**

* * *

Epsilon sighed. His perception of time made it nearly impossible to see the movements that the Sim Troopers were making. No, they're not just Sim Troopers anymore, they haven't been for a long time. Everyone in this room was a soldier, ready to take on impossible odds for not just their own gain, but for the good of a whole planet.

He would've liked to stay like this forever, admiring how far everyone had come since he first met them so many years ago. Epsilon's form flickered; he didn't have much longer. Just enough time to record some videos, some long-winded speeches to have everyone remember him by.

It was ironic how a sentient memory unit was in danger of being forgotten forever, he thought.

Epsilon made a mental checklist of things he wanted to record before he fragmented himself. He didn't have a second left to live, but all the time in the world.

And he intended to use it.


	3. Chapter 3

**_We are green and grey_**

"Hello, Agent Washington."

Wash turned his head towards the voice. "Hey, Delta," he spoke before turning back to study the ground.

"You are troubled. Does it have to do with the setback of your surgery date?" Delta blinked closer to Wash. Wash sighed. Like it or not, Delta always seemed to figure out what no one wanted him to. Wash nodded. "I see." Delta paused. "Agent Carolina has taken your AI, yet you show no signs of animosity towards her. I do not understand."

"If I had been just a _little_ better on missions, this would'nt've happened," Wash stated, running his fingers though his hair. "Carolina is - uh, was the best of us. She deserves those AI more than I do, and more than South does. As much as South hates to admit it, we can really only blame ourselves."

"That is an interesting point of view, Agent Washington," Delta replied.

Wash shrugged. "Maybe." He stood up, slipping his helmet on. "I'm off to train. Tell York I said hi." Delta nodded slightly, acknowledging the request, and disappeared.

* * *

"How long has he been out there?" North asked, leaning over the observance platform and frowning at Wash. Poor thing had been slowing down over the past hour, and every Freelancer knew that training sessions over two hours without break weren't recommended.

"According to D, about five hours," York responded.

"And no one's stopped him?"

"Hey, I already tried a few times to calm him down, and so did Wyoming. He's really been taking this AI thing rough." York winced as Wash was shot by a training bullet and fell. Wash lingered on the ground a few seconds, long enough to give the observing pair hope that he would finally rest, before jumping back up and resuming his routine.

Delta's hologram flickered to life. "Agent Washington believes that he is too weak to receive an AI."

"Aw, man, is this about the grappling hook thing?" York asked. North snickered.

"There may be a correlation."

"Whatever caused it, I hope he gets over this soon. Wash is gonna drive himself insane if he keeps training like this," North said.

* * *

 _Hey, Wash. You're really strong, you know that? Like, those biceps, I wouldn't fuck with those. And you actually got Tucker to run and train and shit, which I thought was impossible. Don't ever sell yourself short, buddy._

 _And that time you tried to hunt us down and kill everyone? I was actually scared. Terrified, to tell the truth. Don't tell anyone I said that, though. I have to keep up my reputation of being a complete badass._

 _I wanna keep on reliving memories that we've had together, but I'm running out of time. Wash, just know that you are possibly a bigger badass than myself, if being that badass is even possible. Don't tell anyone I said that._

 _Oh, and uh, sorry I went batshit crazy in your head._

 _Sexily yours, Epsilon_


	4. Chapter 4

**_The longness of semper  
Still I remember  
Contact_**

* * *

Epsilon spent years inside the memory storage unit. In reality, it was only a few months, but each second was an entire simulation. Every second, something new, something different, something strange.

The longer Epsilon remembered, the more things went wrong. At first, the only differences Epsilon could pinpoint were small, like a bullet hole in the base was three inches off, or there was slightly too much green in Tucker's armor. Soon, things became impossible not to notice; Red Base would be upside down, Caboose could solve math problems, command would provide useful information.

Tex would arrive already dead.

It was the closest Epsilon came to finding her for a while, and it was the first time he saw her in the storage unit.

Caboose had sent the distress call to command, and Tex suddenly appeared in front of Epsilon. Covered in blood. Epsilon stumbled back, tripping over another dead Tex that had appeared behind him, and he fell, backwards, falling, falling for what felt like forever until he finally landed in a pile of corpses.

"Dude, you alright?" Tucker said. Epsilon gasped himself awake. It always started the same way on the same morning.

"Yeah, just...just weird dreams." Epsilon went through the motions of putting on his armor like he had thousands of times before. He never did figure out who the Sim Trooper was that housed the Alpha AI, but whoever the poor sap was, in this memory, he appeared to be missing a pinky finger.

"Ooh, _spicy_." Tucker wiggled his eyebrows seductively. So far everything seemed normal enough. Maybe this time-Epsilon cut off his train of thought. No need for hopeful thinking now. "I gotta go make sure The Goose doesn't do anything stupid again. Have fun with your sex dreams."

Tucker pulled his helmet on and left the bunks. "It wasn't a fucking sex dream!" Epsilon called after him. And who the entire hell was "The Goose"? Epsilon sighed and went about his day, the same day he'd been living over and over and over.

Everything was normal enough, save for how Caboose was now named The Goose, the smallest difference in over a dozen simulations. Epsilon spent a lot of his time cursing the Director for everything he did to the Alpha, to the Fragments, to _him_. It kept him from making it through a dammed _day_ without something going horribly wrong, it left a hole in Agent Washington's head where an A.I. should've been, and tons of other stuff that Epsilon didn't want to think about but couldn't not remember.

Memory was his purpose after all. So, he remembered, as faulty as his stolen memories were, so she wouldn't have to live the shred of the life the fragments did. Epsilon imagined it was worse to exist as a memory of a fragment of an A.I. than it was to simply _be_ a fragment of an A.I.

Epsilon grit his teeth as he heart Sheila start up, knowing his death was coming within the next few minutes. Things were going smoothly; Donut stole the flag, Caboose let him, Tucker didn't really give a shit but appreciated the change of pace. Now, he just needed to die and let them call command. Let Tex come, let him tell her how he, Epsilon, the Alpha, the Director, all the Leonard Churches the universe could ever care to create, felt.

Let him release Tex, Beta, Allison, from this meager existence and false life, built on the regret of a man who always felt he could do more, do better, change the past, present, and future in one ambiguously-ethical scientific leap. The _real_ Allison would hate what she had become, nothing more than a memory of a memory of a woman who lived so fiercely she came back from death, in a manner of speaking.

Epsilon stared down the main tank canon as it moved to aim in his direction. This was for her. She deserved better than to be trapped in memory.

The pain of death was always indescribable.

* * *

 _Oh, God, Tex, I miss you so much. I don't think it's actually me who misses you; it's Leonard, or the Alpha. But since I'm made of their memories, fuck, not being beside you every day of my life from now until the end of time, it_ hurts _. I never even knew you, but I feel like I did._

 _I'm so, so, so, sorry. You probably know this already, but I couldn't bring myself to delete_ all _my memories of you. I'm selfish, I know. But I guess it's coming into handy now, what with having to run this suit and all. So, uh, thanks for helping with that, I guess._

 _Recording this is a waste of my time, I know. You'll die, really die, forever, along with me in a few minutes. We're together, for right now, at least._

 _For just a single moment of infinity._


End file.
